MyStory

Ms Dolly Tan Lee Choo
Administrative Assistant, YWL Engineering Pte Ltd

Do you know that you share a very important birthday with our country? 3rd December is the date when Singapore’s National Anthem, the new flag and Coat of Arms (State Crest) were first unveiled to the newly-self-governing state. How do you feel about that?

Well, it’s through my mother that I know that Yusof Ishak was appointed on that day. And we had a new Flag, also a new Anthem. But my mum was illiterate, so she said we got a new song, which I believed is the National Anthem! She told me when I was young. When she was finished with her chores and we had time to sit by, sometimes we would just chit-chat. I feel very privileged, I feel very honoured, that I share the same birthday as the nation!

It’s been 50 years since Singapore achieved self-governance, and 44 years since Independence. I would like to find out more about your thoughts about Independence. Singapore has seen three governments during its history - British, Japanese and Malaysian. Have you ever wondered what it will be like if Singapore is not independent?

We will be like second-class citizens, because priority will be given to those in power. There will be a lot of biases, definitely, if we do not gain independence. I feel it’s an honour that we are independent because compared to other countries, we are so much peaceful.

Do you think it’s important for Singapore to be independent? Why?

Yes. Definitely. We run our own lives.

What were your growing-up years like?

Well, I have three siblings. My mother was a widow, when my dad passed away in 1966. After that, she worked as a washer lady and brought us up. We also had a shop at the old People’s Park, which we spend our childhood days there after school, helping her to look after but it was returned to HDB about ten years ago. Our shop sold costume jewellery, then sundry, handkerchiefs, lingerie, shoes, dresses, all these sorts of things.

I grew up in the Tanjong Pagar area  - at Cantonment Road, where the Pinnacle@Duxton now stands. At first we stayed at Teo Hong Road, and as the family grew bigger, we moved to a three-room flat at Cantonment Road. When my father passed away in 1966, we downgraded to a one-room flat. I stayed there till 1989, when I acquired my own house in Pasir Ris. It’s a four-room flat. Then I got married in 1993, and I’m still staying there with my mum and my family.

My growing up years were always school and shop. Because we had to help to look after the shop, so that my mum could have a rest, and at the same time also, she could oversee our homework. We would spend the whole day there, had our dinner, until my mum closed the shop, then we were went home. In the morning, it was school, but my mum would leave the house at 4.30am, to start her washer lady duties. She took up washing for a lot of families. So, in the morning, she would be working as a washer lady, until about one o’clock, whereby we finish school. Then all of us would go to the shop.

We would open the shop at two in the afternoon, and close the shop at ten. We could not run far, because my mum didn’t have any phone to contact us! So we would either go downstairs to play or to the empty space on the fourth floor. But I should say, playtime was very limited, and we didn’t have much play time during childhood.

My dad passed away after the first fire at People’s Park. He had a makeshift stall there, and he just acquired a batch of material for costume jewellery’s making from Japan. The goods were not insured as yet. The fire was believed to be an act of arson. He could not accept the shock and committed suicide on 29 September 1966. We were all very shocked. My elder sister was only eight, I was seven, my younger sister was six whereas my brother was only four years old. We were very, very lost. Around the shop, my father had some so-called sworn brothers; they did help out a bit. But how much could we rely on them when they have family of their own? So we got to stand on our own feet, you see. It was a hard time during my childhood. No playtime for us, and no freedom.

We were bullied as kids too. There was a playground with sand behind the Tanjong Pagar Community Centre. I would go with my younger sister and brother. There was this wooden plank swing, and in order to prevent us from playing on it, the other kids would stand on the swing and dirty the seats. So if we were to sweep the sand away, they would spit on the seat instead, so that we couldn’t play on it. And during those days, we didn’t have any tissue paper to wipe away the mess and we will had to sweep away the sand with towels or with our bare hands. At other times, some kids would throw sand at our heads. And we would go home very dirty. When my mother saw us all in these mess, she would use the cane on me for not taking care of the younger ones.

During those days, I and my younger sister also met with a lot of molestation cases. We were too naïve to know what was going on. Sometimes, when we watched TV at our neighbours’ places, the ‘gor gor’ (Hokkien: elder brother) would pretend to explain the programme to me and then hugged and kissed me here and there. I didn’t know it was molest until I was in primary six. And in People’s Park, there were these street peddlers selling Chinese medicines. They would put a kerosene lamp and banged on the gongs.  So we would go downstairs due to our curiosity to join the crowd who had formed a circle by then. And a lot of times, we were molested. On other instants, we were molested by some distant relatives who would said that they would like to show us some photographs in the room, and after we went in, they would caress and touch us intimately. As we felt uncomfortable, we would just pretend to say, we don’t want to look at the photographs anymore. And they would say, I’m just ‘teng ni er yi’ (Chinese: dote on you only.) There were all sorts of pretences to lure us alone into rooms. We were too naïve. My mother didn’t broach this topic to the seniors because to her, it was a very awkward topic. We were always molested by people we know, so we couldn’t tell on them. Like, if we tell my mum that the ‘gor gor’ kissed us on the cheeks, my mother would scold us for talking nonsense. She never believed. To us, we didn’t know that it was molest. We didn’t know how to shout out or protect ourselves. We felt ashamed, and we were the ones who didn’t want to be humiliated. So we kept quiet, and learnt to move away. So now, I teach my daughter that if she feel uncomfortable on being touched, she have to defend herself by alerting others around her.

During my childhood, we didn’t have time for play, because after school, we had to go to the shop with our mum. And we didn’t get to meet friends and there were no toys for us. Even if there were any toys, they were purchased by the so-called uncles and we had to share them as there was no such thing as calling it your own. And we didn’t have a telephone or TV set, not even a transistor radio. We always need to stay outside the neighbour’s house to tune into the Rediffusion broadcast. Sometimes, we had to peep through their window louvers or letter-slot to watch TV, and the neighbours’ children would take newspapers or slippers to block up the holes to stop us from peeping. Sometimes, I would sneak out of the house after my mum had slept to peek through the holes to watch TV. There were a few incidents where my mum locked me out because my mum said, ‘Since you want to go and watch TV, then you don’t come back.’

We only had our first telephone and TV set when my sister started working in 1974. It was a rented TV.

There were times whereby we would get bread from our neighbour who worked in the Sunshine bakery. Every staff member was entitled to two loaves of bread. The uncle was very kind and he would give us one loaf. As we could not afford to have too much spreads during those days, it was either peanut butter, margarine or fruit jam. We could not afford to have all of them at any one time. To prolong the spreads, we were allowed only a thinly one. There were times when behind my mum’s back, we would have a thick one covering every corners of the bread!

I studied till Secondary Four as we were trying to relieve my mum financially.  Moreover, all of us agreed that if we really want to continue studies, we would do it part time. I took up typing courses while waiting for my O-level results. My first job was with a construction firm and I stayed on with them for ten years. I was stationed at their worksites. We didn’t have proper sanitary facilities like work sites nowadays. They had a hole dug in the ground for you to do your businesses, with only a few pieces of zinc sheets to shade you from the public and elements. When it was full, they will have it covered up and dug another hole.

My first pay was $200 and as I was eager to look for a job to help the family financially, I took up the offer. Although $200 was not a big sum in 1975 but at least it was my own hard-earned money which I didn’t have to ask from my mum. I was only 16 then. On receiving my first pay, I spent $20 on a yellow Care Bear because I didn’t have toys to call my own since I was young, so the Care Bear was my first gift to myself.

Then I also gave my mum half of my salary. So the balance $100 was for my normal spending on the bus because lunch was provided on the worksite which save me a substantial sum. As there were lorries and buses that picked up the consultants, I would hitch rides and save me further.  After work, I took up advance typing courses to arm myself with more skills. Then on, I progressed to enrol for a telephone operator course, and later secretarial course so as to built up my credentials.

My personal achievement was when I bought my own flat in 1989 under my own name! The space is now bigger and I have a room that I can call my own. And I have a lot of things that I can call my own too. That is a great achievement on my part. Most importantly, I have a phone of my own which I don’t have to share with my siblings. I used to have to share and share and share in my childhood! Like for example, my brother is the youngest and only boy in the family. Sometimes, after closing shop, we would cut through Keong Saik Road and walk back home. There was this food stall, and my mum would always buy three packets of hor fun (a type of Cantonese noodles). My brother would get one to himself and the rest of us will have to share. 

And during those hardship time, we had to use things passed down from the neighbours or relatives. My younger sister and I would always wear the same style of dresses as they were sewed by my mother to cut cost.  Our shop was open every day and we only had two or three days off, during the Chinese New Year festive season.

But I am glad I have a mum who is strong enough. And I learnt to be independent when I was young and to appreciate things.

What are some of the biggest changes between the Singapore of your childhood and now? Could you share more about them?

I remember when I was young, we had riots and fighting. We would stay indoors. Even when the door was closed, we could hear a lot of shouting downstairs and a lot of glass shattering with a lot of commotions. We could feel the tension and there were curfews everywhere which was frightening.  So security is definitely better today.

And we had this gang who always came to my father’s makeshift shop. They would say ‘Uncle, seng li ho bo?’ (Hokkien: Business good?) Then my father would smile, go to the cash counter and gave them some money. Initially, due to our young age, we didn’t understand what this was about until we started growing up. Then we realised it was extortion for protection money. At the old makeshift stall which had no door but a canvas curtain with rivet holes fixed at the bottom and raffia string tied to blocks of bricks to weight it down.  The ‘walls’ were just gypsum boards. There was no security. A fire broke out in 1966 which was believed to be arson as some said due to a failed extortion as in, somebody did not pay up or had offended the gangsters. Then in 1969, when we had a proper shop, this practice ceased. By then our shop had a wooden shutter door so at least no one could set fire by throwing cigarette butt inside. All these feelings of insecurity wore off.

At time, we would visit my uncle who stayed at Boat Quay. There, we would see all sorts of tongkangs and things floating in the river like dead body of animals, planks, used tyre tubes, etc. Just compare it to what we have today, the Singapore River is so clean.  Formerly we also had a bad neighbour who swept their rubbish to our corridor, just because we were a family with a widow and her four young kids and an elderly grandmother.

Is there anything you miss about Singapore from the past?

I think is the togetherness. I have been staying in Pasir Ris for twenty years. I have a neighbour that I hardly see. They are always behind closed doors. And I have neighbours who don’t greet me whenever we meet. I always teach my daughter to greet the neighbours, especially the elders but it seems that they don’t teach their children to do so.  Children nowadays don’t know how to respect. And this is another thing that I miss, "Manners".

Would you see Singapore as your home? Why is that so?

Yes. Definitely. There is a sense of security. Although my husband was thinking of migrating, I told him not to, because if we were to migrate to whichever country, we will be treated as second-class citizen. We will not be so easily recognised unless we contribute significantly to their economy. So Singapore is my home.

Are there moments you feel proud of Singapore, or to be a Singaporean? Can you share with us these moments?

Like what the song says, "This is my country, this is my home." I’m very proud I’m a Singaporean. When the National Anthem is being played, I will stand at attention, even if it looks very funny in the middle of the road. At home, I also said the Pledge during the National Day celebrations. My daughter was laughing at me and my husband was saying, ‘Are you sure or not? Nobody can hear you.’

I’m proud reciting the Pledge although I don’t remember every word because I have not been reciting it since leaving school. I feel that every word contributes to the feeling of respect I have for the country. I feel that I am giving support, a kind of repayment, when I take part in the pledge taking to what the country has provided me with all these years. A peaceful life, a job. A roof over the head. A place I can call home and not just a house when I go back to Pasir Ris.  Also, as a holder of a Singapore passport, it’s so convenient. Everywhere you go, you are recognised. We are very mobile.

If not for Singapore’s development, I will be working harder to earn more money to support my family. The development changed my lifestyle. I don’t have to wash my clothes by hand. I have a washing machine to do the task. I get to rest by watching TV programmes or listening to the radio broadcasting. I still can go shopping after my work and goes home by MRT. The theatre is just diagonally across my house. So with all these luxuries, it is great to be a Singaporean and feel so much at home.