MyStory

“Would you want a little brother?” the mother asked. “Yes!” the children replied enthusiastically. This recount told by my mother has been etched in my mind when I was six and it remains unblemished despite the passing of time. This is one of the first moments I am happy to have older siblings. It was when Kor (brother in Cantonese) unknowingly became my hero.

At 1.75m, he stands half a head taller than me. A pair of half-framed spectacles usually rest on his nose bridge. His short and neat hair, a requirement of the Navy, emphasises his high forehead which is trait of those who are intelligent and wise according to the Chinese. At times, he carries a serious demeanor, but half the time he is rather quirky and bursts into random singing which never fails to amuse me when he is at home.

I am lucky to have a brother who loves and cares for me and never expressed jealousy or sibling rivalry. His influence has always played a huge role in my life. However as I was the youngest, I often lived in his shadows, cast by his education in prestigious schools. I often griped how he never helped me with my schoolwork, how he either lost his patience in teaching me when I was in primary school or him forgetting what he learnt in secondary school. He was also very strict and often took sides with my parents to tell me off.

However, it is only recently I finally came to realise Kor’s intentions and difficulties. As an upper secondary student, I have a handful of juniors from my CCA who ask for help from me regarding academics. Unfortunately, due to the ever-changing syllabus, fallibility of the human mind and my own work that weigh down on me, there is little I could do. A junior once complained, “You are only two years older than us! How could you not remember or not know?” That sparked a chain reaction of thoughts.

Kor and I were born in the year of the Monkey- twelve years apart. This huge age gap brought difficulties; the year he took his PSLE, I cried endlessly; the year he took his ‘O’ Levels, I was hyperactive and mischievous; when I was in upper primary, he had his NS, followed by his university studies in Australia.

My upbringing and education are important, but what about his? He faced much more difficulties compared to what I have now and yet, I griped about him for not teaching and lending me support. Truth is, he had and he had tried his best and I should have been more independent in my own learning, just like how he had to. I feel partly responsible that he did not do very well for his studies and he would not have repeated a year in JC.

Many times, he shared new and interesting things like MSN Messenger and iTunes when they were first introduced. Also, it was his strictness and tongue-lashings that I abhorred that made me learn many things like not to be materialistic and not to be picky. He would send me to my destination if I am in a rush and he solves problems my computer experience. Furthermore, it is him who helped me discover my passion in music..

I realised I had never been appreciative and understanding towards Kor, but he had never really asked for anything in return despite all the help he rendered. For his selflessness, inspiration that he brought me and his subtle acts of love and care, he is my hero.