MyStory :: Close Encounters of the Nice Kind :: Close @ Raffles Institution

Mohd Shaharuddin bin Abu, 50
Assistant Superintendent of Police
Criminal Investigation Department

Rasanathan s/o Sothynathan, 50
Lawyer
Colin Ng & Partners LLP

Sometimes, a friendship may blossom between the unlikeliest of friends.

Just ask Shaharuddin and Rasanathan, two friends who first met in 1976, when they started their pre-university education at Raffles Institution.

In those days, students were seated two by two in class.

Rasanathan remembered how he was placed next to a young man who simply could not stop talking.

"I wasn't sure of what he was, whether he was Chinese, Malay or Indian," the 50-year-old lawyer said.

"But it didn't really matter."

Shaharuddin, also 50 this year, on the other hand, didn't have much of a first impression of Rasanathan.

He was too overwhelmed by the fact that he was studying in a ‘branded' school like Raffles Institution, having come from a neighbourhood school.

"When I went to Raffles Institution, I had no friends because only three of us came from Gan Eng Seng Seconday School," he said. "When I went to class they were not sitting with me and I got stuck with Rasan."

"He's fat and I'm tall, so I didn't know why both of us were placed at the front of the class!"

Whatever differences or uncertainties they had towards each other soon disappeared, and the pair would start talking to each other when lessons got boring.

Shaharuddin said, "I think we clicked because both of us are the rogues in class. We were always singled out by the teachers!"

Rasanathan elaborated, "One day our GP teacher got so fed up with us for talking in class that she told us to get out of her class if we were not interested."

"So we both looked at each other - and frankly we weren't interested in her class - so we closed out books and we walked out."

From then on, the two friends would sit out on her lessons, and that landed them in the principal's office. They eventually apologised to that teacher.

"But only because the principal told us to," added Rasanathan, with a laugh.

One thing that bothered Rasanathan about Shaharuddin though, was his asthma.

"Every now and then Shah would start wheezing and that used to get me worried."

"So I told him, ‘you better start swimming', but he never swam before. So I taught him how to swim. After that, he beat me all the way to the water polo squad, became a water polo player and was miles ahead of me in swimming!"

"I cannot think of the things I can teach him," said Shaharuddin. "He's my mentor and I can always confide in him."

The two buddies did almost everything together in school, from studying to wrestling to bodybuilding. In fact, Shaharuddin used to stay over at Rasanathan's house.

He recalled how he would wake Rasanathan up at 4.30 in the morning just to have breakfast with him during the Puasa period.

"He used to grumble and walk in a daze to the kitchen and I would make breakfast. Sometimes he followed but most of the time he didn't," said Shaharuddin with a laugh.

It didn't matter then that Shaharuddin was a Chinese Muslim and Rasanathan, an Indian.

"Race and religion has never been an issue when we were growing up," said Rasanathan.

"You must give respect to certain things. When Shah comes to my house, I'll make sure that there's no pork being served even though my family eats pork. That is very basic."

Shaharuddin added: "I don't think they consciously do it. They just know it has to be done."

The disparity in backgrounds has never deterred the two friends from becoming best buddies.

"Shah taught me the value of simplicity and that money doesn't matter," said Rasanathan, who came from a well-off family. "They were such a happy family, so friendly, so open, and it was wonderful to see that."

"There are a lot of things his parents couldn't afford so I used to pay for him when we go out, but I never looked at it like he's freeloading off me. Even though he has no money, he never borrowed from me."

"I was from the ‘kampong' so he was like my town friend," said Shaharuddin. "My English was poor because I don't like to read, so I always check with him on how to use phrases."

Both friends got along well with each other's families.

"I got along with Shah's dad famously," said Rasanathan with pride.

Shaharuddin added, "In fact, he's closer to my dad than me and my dad! When my dad couldn't find me, he would always contact Rasan."

After they graduated from Raffles Institution, the two friends lost contact for a number of years.

Shaharuddin got married and was struggling to support his family, while Rasanathan went on to university and subsequently became a lawyer.

Shaharuddin's early marriage was a point of contention for his family and Rasanathan.

"Nobody wanted me and my wife to be together because I was supposed to go to university," he said.

Rasanathan elaborated, "At that time, I thought that going to university first, then getting married, was the more logical option because things would get easier for him in the long term."

"Shah's father used to sit down with me and ask me to talk to Shah about it. But at the end of the day I told him that it's his decision and I can't force him."

Shah said, "Rasan gave me good advice but I felt that there were stronger emotions involved. I had committed to my wife so I wanted to go for it because she was alone in Singapore."

Eventually, the two friends agreed to disagree on this matter.

"Although we have our differences, we are not judgmental," said Rasanathan.

Shaharuddin echoed similar sentiments.

"Just because we have differences in opinion, it doesn't make him less of a friend. I think our bond takes years to come. It's very difficult to develop now because people are more conscious of the disparity between the rich and poor, and they have higher expectations."

"But I'm happy to see that things have gone on well for Shah because after he went to the police force," said Rasanathan. "He studied law and graduated."

Now, the two friends are at different junctures of their lives.

Shaharuddin's children have grown up and he has more free time for himself while Rasanathan is still tied with work and family commitments.

But, both friends stress that their friendship was never impeded in any way despite the different paths they took.

"The beauty of our friendship is that when we meet, we just continue from where we left off," said Rasanathan.

"There's no hidden agenda."

"When he comes to see me, I know he wants to see me. There's no ‘I need this from you' or ‘can you help me with that'. But even if he did, I'd be more than happy to do so."

Rasanathan looks forward to the day when he finishes his obligations and duties so he can have more time for himself and his best friend.

"We'll sit down, have a few drinks, talk about the old days, and bring up the issues about the girls who were interested in him and how he used to run away from them," he said.

Photographed by Tay Kay Chin, and interviewed by Adeline Ong/Little Red Ants, outside the Subordinate Courts, on 30 Sept 2009.